The Photo

There was a girl
so small and meek
Her eyes, oceans of sadness
Laughter peaked out
and pulled at the corners of her mouth
But only when you walked by

You were the sun
you made it light
when there was nothing but darkness
And she revolved around you

She was your sun
She made it light
when there was nothing but darkness
And you revolved around her

You danced around another
ever twirling
lives entwining
ever loving
Each held in the eye of the beholder

But one day the light went out
the dancing stopped
and your world crashed down around you
Standing alone in the dark
your heart torn open
bleeding on the floor

You picked up the pieces
and walked on through the dark
never seeing light
until you let me in

I opened a door
let a sliver of light peak in
and you jumped

Your ever burning light
could not brighten your own way
but one glance
and I was ablaze

But it wasn't enough
it never would be
because I wasn't her
and I had a secret

I envied her all along

Acoustic Guitar

Let it rock you
let it shake
I can feel it in my heart
I can feel it in my mind
in my blood
and in my bones

These soft notes rock me
steady steady
strum, it numbs me
I could lay here forever
numb
and smiling

the vibration sets me
moves me
my drug of choice
the strum of those notes
soft voice in my ear
you make everything disappear.

Love Letters

To everyone I've ever loved
and to those who have loved me
I thank you for everything
for the heartbreak
and the happiness
for the good times
and the bad
this wouldn't be life without it

Thanks to you I am living
breathing
feeling
writing

From the bad comes the good
things must get worse before they get better

I have seen the bad
I have seen my personal worst
and from that
I live

From the torn and broken
a bond was born
two friends never closer
A mother's love for her daughter
and visa versa

From betrayal and bruising
came the purest love I've ever known
a mother's love for her child
a son to call my very own

From lies and damaged friendship
one stood out among the many
a best friend
a sister

and from hopelessness and loss
came beauty in love
one who completes me
who fills me
who loves without ever being asked

Too Late

If you had looked into those liquid blues
felt the tiny hands
lifted the small weight in your arms
would things be any different?

Time is what every friendship needs to blossom
but were we too late?
Had I been months earlier, days or weeks
would the bond be any stronger?

If you had been there for the helpless cries
and soft sleepy whimpers
if a tiny hand grasped round your one finger
would your heart have swelled?

I'm giving you time
but I can't help but wonder
if we were too late
if it would be different

If his name were the same as yours
would you love him more?
I feel as if the one he carries
is your one reason to stay away

If I had left just a little sooner
would he call you Daddy?
would you hold him in your arms
and call him your son?

If you had gotten to know him
when he was a little younger
would your heart have room for him too?
or were we too late?

I can't force it
I can only foster
but how can I foster a love that doesn't exist?

I wish you'd look at him with a light in your eye
I wish you'd hold him,
embrace him,
play with him.
I wish you'd acknowledge him
when he wants your attention
I wish you'd love him.

Life As A Painting

Everything is black and grey
black and grey, black and grey
I felt like the color was starting to fade
I can't shake this
why can't I shake this
I found an artist
he captures the color
but I still can't shake this
can't shake this
I found an artist who captures the color
an artist who makes art
is art
I'm no artist
because I can't find the color
all my paintings are black and grey
I know what happened
and it's all because of you
you stole the color
my color
you stole my color and now
I can't shake this
but I found an artist
and he will bring my color back

We Shall

The day of pain
I sat sobbing
watching my life flash before me
everything, gone
my world was crashing down on itself
but I moved onward
each day my stomach swelled
each day you grew stronger
each day I grew more fearful
what if
I couldn't do it
I wasn't good enough
I couldn't provide the life you deserved
but I moved onward
your little feet kicked from inside me
tiny elbows brush against my stomach
I felt you growing stronger
my fear grew stronger

The day you arrived
came in a haze
this was the day
but as you were placed in my arms
I saw the little feet that kicked me
the tiny elbows that brushed my stomach
and the face I longed to know
a love I never knew swelled in my heart
you were mine
every time you smile
when your eyes light up
when you laugh
I am glad you are mine
because I get to see it
every time you cry
when you are hurt
when you are sad
I am glad you are mine
because I can make it better

I dream about our future
and although the road ahead is unclear
I am no longer afraid
because I know that I love you
and that you are mine
and together the world is ours

Driving Song Pt II

Driving across this desolate land
this stretch is a ghost town
and I am merely a ghost
floating through this life
a wisp of my former self
the warmth makes me stronger
hope makes me less transparent
Trees without leaves
twisted and broken
Glory known once, lost
It's all about finding my way
I was lost for a long time
wandering
following the path, not knowing where it lead
letting it lead me
lead me to my death
it took a great feat of strength
to regain control
Looking out at the road ahead of me
it looks so lonely now
but any day now I'll reach my destination