My old fears quelled but new ones arise. What to do now that I have what I do? The FEAR of waking up and realizing that this is all a dream, a foolish girly hope that should never come true. All of this is too good to be true, too much for a silly girl like me. Do I deserve the heart I hold? Perhaps the right question would be, do I deserve the pain I have because I hold this heart so far away from where it should be kept? The world isn't right, everything is so out of place. Something is missing, something is not right, I should be there and not here. There has formed a gaping hole in my existence where he belongs, and life doesn't seem worth living if he's not here. Everything feels so right now, but everything is so wrong. This is not how it's supposed to happen, I couldn't help who I fell in love with and when it happened, yet here I am putting love on hold.
Will there be a happy ending? The plot has thickened in my movie of life. I'm the damsle in distress in this action/horror/drama series, the fake ending has passed and now the bigger problem arises and everyone sits on the edge of their seats in suspense for the solution and the inevitable happy ending. Someone grab the remote and fast forward the suspense please. I'd miss everything between now and that moment, just to get to that moment. I'm desperate for this chapter to end and let the new one begin.
This movie can't go on without the lead role's supporting actor.
Friday, March 17, 2006
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