Pain

My head is throbbing, pounding
Another six hundred and some odd page done, one day
That's not what's making my head hurt
Books are easy, life is hard
I've never wanted something so bad in my life
It's hard
To think...
that I was lied to
He made me think...
He made me believe...
And now look at me, I'm a mess.
I don't want him, not one bit
But I want someone
to look at me with nothing but pure love in their eyes, and mean it
to not care about anything else other than my happiness and safety, and mean it
to mean everything they say
I have never wanted something so bad in my entire life
I hurt, everywhere
Like my body is beating itself up
I...I don't know what to do...