I call it bliss

Slow motion playback. Rewind and play it again. This is so fun. It's like nothing else matters when I'm in the moment. Careless and aimless we go through life, but this is the best. Play, this sweet music and dance with me. Pause, look at us having fun. Play, keep up it don't let the song end. Stop, oh no it's over. Promise me we'll do this again tomorrow. I'll bring the music if you just bring your bad self. We're gonna dance until the end of time, just like this. Disco may be out of style but we're making life the new craze. Everyone wants to be us, cause we're the best at dancing through life. Look at us go. I call this bliss.

love shines light and darkness

Would you swing with me, and watch the stars? Looking into the vastness of the night and knowing there is only us, here. Would you hold me tighter when the breeze blows, so cold upon my flesh? Hold me, like you're never letting go. Would you whisper how great it is, to be sitting here with me? Every minute, every breath, counted, and dreaded at the same time. Would you look me in the eyes, and spill your heart without ever saying a word? Words say so much, but I see your soul through your eyes and it says so much more. Would you cry if I left, the sadness ripping at your heart? Love is sad, but don't let it go.

Princess in a tower

Scream, out loud this time and not to myself. Rip the vocal chords. Let them know the pain inside. Smash the mirror, let it fall. A million pieces for a million tears that should not have fallen. As the air escapes the emotions flood and it becomes more than just a scream. Stand in the silence, shaking. Watch the unsteady hand, listen to the inhale, feel the rapid heart. To see the skin, to hear the breath, to feel the beat of the core, I am alive. A miracle in light of all that has happened. Confusion covers like a blanket and darkens all logic. I fear what has not happened is not far off. Life has been tested one too many times.

Expression

Breath stops. Breathe in. I suffocate with every intake. In the darkness, in the silence, quiet tears fall. With every move a twinge of pain, with every twinge a memory. The memories rip at my heart with a fierceness I've never known before. Why like this? Why me? I stare into the mirrors I can't avoid and wonder what I have done to deserve this. I've done nothing but my best to be all that I am. Apparently who I am is not enough, yet I still refuse to change. Why be like everyone else? Why live life as a mindless embodiment of "normalcy"? For that is not living at all, it is merely existing. I live to see beauty, life, and love. I see real things, I believe in real things. I am not fake, I do not try, I am not someone else to gain respect, love, or adoration. I am only me, can't you see that? I scream, I cry, I love, I feel, I am human. It is not unnatural to feel pain, to express the pain.

Project this on your TV screen

My old fears quelled but new ones arise. What to do now that I have what I do? The FEAR of waking up and realizing that this is all a dream, a foolish girly hope that should never come true. All of this is too good to be true, too much for a silly girl like me. Do I deserve the heart I hold? Perhaps the right question would be, do I deserve the pain I have because I hold this heart so far away from where it should be kept? The world isn't right, everything is so out of place. Something is missing, something is not right, I should be there and not here. There has formed a gaping hole in my existence where he belongs, and life doesn't seem worth living if he's not here. Everything feels so right now, but everything is so wrong. This is not how it's supposed to happen, I couldn't help who I fell in love with and when it happened, yet here I am putting love on hold.
Will there be a happy ending? The plot has thickened in my movie of life. I'm the damsle in distress in this action/horror/drama series, the fake ending has passed and now the bigger problem arises and everyone sits on the edge of their seats in suspense for the solution and the inevitable happy ending. Someone grab the remote and fast forward the suspense please. I'd miss everything between now and that moment, just to get to that moment. I'm desperate for this chapter to end and let the new one begin.
This movie can't go on without the lead role's supporting actor.

When I wish upon a star

Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, have the wish, I wish tonight...The twinkling ball of light we've so many times wished upon has brought us nothing. When was the last time a star wish has come true? A true wish, a wish from the heart, a wish that you've thought about for a long time and not only want but desperately need. We are taught as children to hope and dream, but no one ever taught us how to deal with life when our hopes and dreams only let us down. I have never been told how to cure a broken heart, how to mend a torn friendship, or how to bandage a crushed dream. Of all the lessons, over all the years, not a single person has shared these secrets. Is it time to wonder whether anyone really knows?

Love is a many splendored thing

Today I realized, that love may not be what you think it is. I said "Love is different for everyone", and it is. However, no matter how many opinions of love you get there is always going to be some connection, something in common. So there is a common basic definition of love, is there not? The way that people define love differently is because they've had different experiences and they build on the basic definition differently than another person would. I still don't know if "love" is what happened, but what I do know is that it was different than anything else I had ever felt, anything I had ever experienced. The thing that I found truely amazing, was that I could feel that way, and have those same feelings returned (even if they weren't spoken feelings), without a lot of things that people define or base off of "love." If you can love somebody without ever kissing them, that's something, an amazing something.