The meaning of NOW

Just because this thing's inside me
doesn't mean I chose this path
a path I accept but did not choose
I still want to be silly and young
I remember being careless
oh how I wish I could smile again
My muscles tense
teeth clench
as these never ending tears come again
it's like I'm spiraling downward
falling backwards
losing control
and there's nothing, absolutely nothing
I can do
I'm wishing life wasn't so serious
I'm tired of putting on this stern face
I long to smile, to really laugh
I did once
possibilities are slim to none
and this frown remains

A Line In The Sand

i could just as easily say any of those things
to any one of my friends
simply for revenge
but the thing is...
i possess absolutely no desire to utter any of those things to anyone but you
you are my one and only
when I say these things I am not saying them simply
the words are few and simple
but the meaning behind them would take forever to explain
i think a line has been drawn in the sand
i stand here
and you stand there
and either you cross to my side
or we forever be cursed
with this line in the sand
the sand used to be a comfort underneath my feet
but now it seems uneasy to stand on
the days pass
something seems to be slipping
and I can't quite get a grip
time apart
a salvation, no longer a curse
your words of kindness turn to hurt

It Goes A Little Like This

There's something about this
I just can't explain
at a loss for words
temporarily speechless
you make my heart beat faster
you make my world spin
I get dizzy when you kiss me
and I'm feeling slightly
no
very, in love with you
it hasn't been long
but it sure has been a rollercoaster
and I can't be more grateful
for your reassuring hand
and your beautiful voice brushing against my ear
everything is going to be ok
I used to be afraid of the dark
all alonebut with your arms around me
all fear has vanished
I want this forever
you
forever

Fear Itself Is A Monster

Like steam, fear rises in my veins
I am not alone
yet I feel lonesome
as my stomach sours once again
I feel like the world is closing in on me
I trust you
but the fear remains
I have trusted once before, have I not?
I have loved once before, have I not?
Before both lost, and a broken heart
What am I to do if this situation is more than this?
I am afraid
of being stranded
without your helping hand
I would sink rapidly into the deep waters in which I cannot escape
without you
I am nothing
and that is the thing that fuels the fear
the sickness
and the nightmares

Your Resistence, Brought On By Your Interests

This is playing out like a bad movie
I'm trying to warn you
of the man behind the door
but you can't hear a word I'm saying
and now he's got you in the corner
a knife to your throat
you scream
in a panic he grabs your throat to silence you
his grip is deadly
so deadly
I'm watching you suffocate
and there's not a damn thing I can do
I'm pounding my fists on the TV screen
pounding until they bleed
I'm screaming at him to let you go
screaming and pleading
but you still can't hear me
I'm trying so hard
and getting nothing for my efforts
nothing but bloody fists
and a lost voice
it hurts to beat the glass
and my screams no longer sound
he draws his knife again
and I realize...
there's nothing more I can do for you

Break This Code, 007

I'm sitting across from you
and the wind blows my hair
gently, so gently
like the kisses you plant upon my lips
I'm sitting across from a stranger
strange to me
but there's just something about you
like a good joke, the laugh I've been missing
like the sun, shining on a pale heart
but there's just something about you
nothing in life is free
and I feel like there's something I'm not getting
it came so easy, so easy to me
and baby, nothing in life is free
but there's just something about you
such a gentleman, a kindness I've never known
I'm wondering if there's a light at the end of this tunnel
and maybe, just maybe, you....

I'm wishing this was complicated
because it seems too good to be true
excuse my hesitence
while I decipher my decision

The Boy Who Wasn't

I can't tell if I'm angry or upset
and the broken glass isn't helping my decision
I'm staring at the blood
fury red
and I'm weighing out those words
yet none seems more fitting than the other
your laughter is hiding something
and I'm going to find out what
if I have to rip you apart from the inside out
I'm done with sweet nothings
and hopeless words of wishful romanticism

I'm feeling sinister tonight
I wonder what you'd think
if your insides burned like mine
twisted like mine
I bet your laughter would echo off the walls
until it morphs into screams of agony
I'd like to watch your heart beat
from outside your chest
proof that you actually feel
ice or fire?
we'll see if your blood is ice cold
maybe some day you'll be a real boy
for now you're nothing but a fake